my hiding place

Why?
Why are You still here with me?
Didn't You see what I've done?
In my shame I want to run and hide...

But
It is here I see the truth:
I don't deserve You...

But I need You to love me
and I...I won't keep my heart from You this time
And I'll stop this pretending
that I can somehow deserve what I already have
I need You to love me.

- Barlow Girl
==============


There are only two ways to live:
Either you live with Jesus, or you don't.

To be with Jesus, you must follow Him.
Either you follow Him, or you don't.

To follow Him, you must obey Him.
Either you obey Him, or you don't.

To obey Him, you must trust Him.
Either you trust Him, or you don't.

To trust Him, you must know Him.
Either you seek Him, or you don't.


==============


Oh Lord, I need strength.
Already I am faltering.
It feels like I am being attacked on every side.
My mind is getting clouded by worry,
stress,
guilt.

I need You.
I need You.
I don't want to stagger from town to town in search of water
like I always used to.
I want to return to You.
Oh Lord, I want to return to You!!

It feels like I've failed.
I've failed You again.
Somehow I don't know how to tap into Your power
to make myself change.

I know that on my own I can do nothing.
Lord, are You holding back Your power?
Or perhaps I am being impatient.
Am I doing anything to impede Your work?
Let me know...

I don't just want to stop myself from sliding back all the time.
I want to move forward.
I want to move forward with You.
I know there is more than this.
There is much more outside of my personal struggles, my little world.

Lord God, I know Your heart is with Your lost sheep.
You will leave the ninety-nine for the one.

Teach me to love, God...

And teach my lips to speak words of love.
Wisdom.
I want to be used by You.
There is no cause more important, or more urgent.
Eternal separation from You is a BIG deal.
I'm starting to see my responsibility...
I cannot know where they are headed and then leave them alone...

Thank You that Your grace is sufficient for me.
Your power is made perfect in my weaknesses.
I will boast all the more gladly about them,
so that Your power may rest on me.
For your sake, I delight in my weakness,
in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate me from Your love.

Lord...how could I say what You are to me.
Thank You for being my hiding place...
My refuge.
I will run to You again and again and again...
I will run to You.

Lord Jesus, teach me to worship You.
To love You.
Teach me of Your love.
Teach me to be humble.
Thank You for everything You are, everything I have...
thank you for everything.

Love, Your servant.