silence

I have never felt this so intensely. I have never felt so alone.

I'm off and away again...chasing what doesn't satisfy.

Why. Why do I really only believe man and not God.

Why doesn't my heart long for God? Have I been listening to lies?

I wonder if this is all a huge show that Christians put on. We help each other to keep it going. I am so drawn in...

How could I possibly be considering giving my whole life to this?

But then again, what else would I give my life for?

I want to give it up to love.

What do I see in the love of Christ?

Something so deep, so out-of-this-world...

Why doesn't it hit me?

How can I trust?

I have tears in my eyes.

I want more.

I need. to know.

Your love

For myself.

I am empty.

Absolutely

empty.

And I am

ever

so

blind.